When your partner has just told you they like to separate it is such a shock to the system. It might have been expected, it may not, but either way a relationship breakup can't actually be prepared for. Initially you will react by being hurt or very angry and might beg and plead to try and change your partners mind. You could be abusive and very unkind towards your partner, simply through being hurt so badly. Perhaps you'll experience all these feelings and reactions and many others besides.
This is all fully normal behavior certainly. Not a lot of people can act quietly with dignity and in a calm and composed manner when faced with a relationship breakup as it is deep and personal rejection by a loved one. Although, if you can or have tried to be calm throughout the event this will be a preliminary benefit. If you have panicked or done something truly crazy, then do not despair, you can still correct this circumstances later on.
The first thing to do now is to calm down and get your self control back. This might take a few days if you're in a very emotional way. It is perhaps a good idea to have family or real friends around you as often as possible when you're going through this stage. It is almost like a mini grief period and you'll initially mourn your lost love.
The next stage in picking up the pieces of your heart is the constructive part. If getting back with an ex is your no.1 priority you must stick to some rules and follow a proved plan.
People have no idea where to start when they need to rescue a relationship and it is not surprising. It takes more than a bunch of flowers or a hastily written apology letter to make amends and reconstruct a lasting love life with your ex partner. They possibly dumped you for a valid cause and you now have to reverse their opinion of you.
This requires a little mind control and some fundamental human psychology that is a subject most people have no knowledge of. If this all sounds a little too much or too hard to even think about now then do not be concerned. You are about to take baby steps in this regard.
A small step or a small change can bring a big reward if done in the appropriate way at the right time. It is essential to understand that although sometimes you may think 'why on world should I do this or that?' that you do follow through with it as some methods can look very counterproductive and go against the grain of your thoughts.
Keeping focused, upbeat and busy would work wonders for your self esteem which was almost certainly at an all time low following the separation. One brilliant technique in a popular and successful plan is the 'pick-me-up' which turns the focus on you and your life. This can make you feel better right away and you can move forward with this and further improve your life and self independently of your ex.
A plan to make yourself seem newly desirable and slightly out of your ex's reach could be the first trigger to an emerging flame of interest. We all desire that which we cannot have after all, that's human nature!
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